MIND

This is intended to motivate one to be clear minded when it’s important. And to recognize an environment when it is important. This is the “Mind” part of MAHI.

I look back at some situations and wonder why I’m still alive. And my answer is to not waste my wisdom by keeping it to myself.

My whole youth life my parents warned me about the dangers of drugs. How it would keep me from college, or end up on my record. Won’t be able to get a good job or meet a nice girl. DARE put the fear of death in me.

But…..I drank a lot in my youth. No more than friends or family I don’t think. But that’s not the measuring stick one should use.

I don’t judge though. And I still love a party as much as anyone else. I didn’t always choose well. Humans. It’s been said that we are not humans having a spiritual experience. We’re spirtual beings having a human experience. We are all just human, trying to choose what is best for us with no idea of what the future holds.

My family did everything together for years. Kinda hard to find trouble when we’re having so much fun. And even though we were kids, my parents would warn us…mostly my older siblings. They were closer to the age of being offered beer or something. “*Dont do drugs.*” “Call if you need a ride.” “Never get in a car with someone who has been drinking or using drugs.”

Fast forward through the last 20 - 30 years. And stick with me, this is an unusual segway, I know. I’ll get there.

I recently prioritized my mental health over everything since 2016. And you will be surprised at how much you have to let go of. Friends and venues. I still love a band, a bar, a bunch of friends and an IPA…it’s just alcohol free IPA now. But you don’t know what you don’t know. Just because everyone I held in high regard was doing it, I believed it to be the thing for me.

The following is the most important thing to learn about safety. Especially keeping a clear Mind.

Recently I’ve taken up an aviation course. Within this course is the requirement for maintenance reading. Again…stick with me….I’m getting there. This is the “Mind” part of MAHI.

Within the maintenance reading is a subject called Confined Spaces and Permit Confined Spaces. The designation of these spaces requires certain training and safety precautions.

“The designation of Permit Confined space is unique in that it challenges the ability of the individual to self-rescue due to fumes or high temperatures.”

……….Challenges the ability to self rescue.

……….Challenges the ability to self rescue.

This is such a powerful statement today. There are new ways being invented every day to get hurt, but when you drink or other inebriating self indulgence, your impairments exponentially increase the risk of not being able to self rescue.

I’m not trying to be a prude, and believe me, I was no angel.

It doesn’t matter what you do for a living. You have to recognize risk. And here’s what happens to your judgement when you drink.

After 1 drink, your discomfort is gone, you make conversation easier, and your friends find you especially fun now. Feeding your want to keep going.

After 2 drinks you lose the ability to recognize a threat. You take a risk, you believe you have time to sober up.

After 3 drinks, you’re more likely to euphorically walk towards what seems like a “mischievous” situation but really could be a fatal threat depending on the circumstances. And that tiny shot you just had hasn’t even kicked in yet.

If you add a boat, a water environment, a vehicle, or a physically demanding activity, you’re in the 95th percentile of being in a fatal situation.

MAHI is a drive for education, and experiences. Looking after each other. It’s about pushing away the peer pressures of today.

My point is, ….don’t ever put yourself in a position where you cannot self-rescue. Ever.

If you enjoy your booze now and then, put yourself in a protected environment. This means, TRUSTED, dependable people where one or MOST of them

are sober. One or most of them you’ve known for longer than a year or more.

You deserve people that truly look after you.

Let’s talk about that. Who looks after you? Define “looking out for you.”

The best way to define this is through a question.

You’re at your favorite pub, having a few pints. A person of the same gender gets obnoxious. Calls you a few names. You’ve not seen them before. Ever.

Your friends are there and support you. The person asks if you “want to step outside.”

Do your friends say, “let’s go, you got this?”

Do your friends say, “let’s go somewhere else?”

Do your friends say, “I got this jerk for you.”

I’m not questioning their loyalty. But the best person in that room said, “let’s go somewhere else.”

They rescued you from being involved in a bar fight.

They rescued you physically and they rescued your reputation.

In that moment, that you were asked for a fight, did you check their pockets, their belt, their shoes, their ankles, jacket? Any indication of weapons? Probably not. Did you assume it was hand to hand? Did they have a gun? How would you know? Did you assume they wouldn’t? Were their friends outside waiting to jump you? Did they want your car keys, where your address and garage door opener could be found? Did they know you? Had they been random appearances in your life lately? In your degraded state, you’re not thinking of all these things.

Street smart is what we called it when I was a kid. You have that sixth sense of when a combination of things add up to a deterioration of safety. The reason is there were no cameras. If there is no record of a crime, crime “doesnt happen. One trip to China Town in Boston as a teenager is a great training ground. “Gold” necklaces for $3.00.

The best friend in that room that offered the only advice that would keep you ALL out of harms way, was the one that said, “let’s go somewhere else.”

Another way out of that, in some situations is to just apologize for your behavior. You stroke their ego, and you also show your intellect. Doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong. The right thing is always getting to your home safely…..preferably with your record in tact.

Not only should we not engage with sleepers like this, we should diffuse the situation. This typically means you need a good sober mind. You never know when there’s another motive or another player involved in the threat’s game.

Traveling the world, requires that you be constantly mindful of security for your group. Of all the things I mentioned, add not knowing the language, not knowing their ”911”. Or knowing the police are as corrupt as the country and not knowing even how to get to your hotel.

Know what a TRUE rescue is and who you entrust it to and where you entrust it too. And when you see the margin slowly deteriorating gather your tribe and find another way to spend time.

When you travel to these other countries, be aware. Notice when the comfort of high population begins to decrease. Fewer street lights. A dirt road. All things that you should question. Answers are not what you’re looking for. It’s how they answer that is the “tell.”

Without the proper mindset, the rest doesn’t work.

Recently I was given the privilege and trust to drive 2 young people to their friends party a good distance from home and urban areas…out of my area of familiarity.

But it wasn’t the destination that was the riddle that night. It was the route. And maybe it was nothing.

There was a large trailer hitch in the middle of the opposite direction lane. It was a back road and no cars were coming the other way. It could cause a lot of damage if a car hit it. I drove past. With two young adults in my care, leaving a running car in the middle of the road to move a trailer hitch was not a risk I was willing to take.

Possibilities, are more than that. Maybe I just get mugged and the car and passengers are fine. No humanitarian stops when you have vulnerable people in the vehicle. Wasn’t a hard choice. But again. Street smarts. Maybe it really fell out of a truck’s trailer receiver. My mind works differently based on experiences. That’s all. Not worth rolling the dice.

Surround yourself with friends and family that support you. Keep them as your closest confidants. Have that friend….”middle of the night, I need your help,” friend.

This isn’t easy. I miss the heck out of those chaotic days. It was like solving a riddle at every step. But the consequences were a little more dire. Finding comfort in chaos can create a “froggy in the pot” future if you’re not careful. Be an example of good as frequently as you can. Don’t try to be perfect. Just try to be better today than yesterday. And handle tomorrow, tomorrow.

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Your mind is a result of your experiences. How you’re treated is how your life goes. If you’re treated poorly, your life will follow that theme….its a subliminal message. Never allow someone to treat you poorly.

I never learned that lesson. I always overcommitted to relationships. Some people don’t even know the basics anymore.

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Tools

Ride from a trusted sober friend/family member.

Uber

Lift

Taxi

Bus

Train/“T”/“L”/subway

Non alcoholic Guiness (it’s delicious)

Non alcoholic Corona (awesome)

Non alcoholic Bourbon Kentucky ‘74 (not tried it yet)

Non alcoholic champagne (good in mamosas)

Non Alcoholic Heineken (one of my favorites)

(Try these on your buddies without telling them there’s no alcohol in it, see if they notice)

The list is growing.

Enjoy sitting at a bar….not all of them have non alcoholic options. But it’s made the alcohol free lifestyle way more tolerable.

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The Hard Stuff

Choose Your Hard

Someone asked me recently why I fail so much. I said, “because I do difficult things.” And when you do difficult things, it can be a rocky road to your destination.

To be continued……

Work, Play, Gather